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Saturday, November 1, 2008

Not at all what I thought it would be

Guess who just put this ho-hum house on the market in London for $2.4 million? Jade Jagger, former creative director of high-end jeweler Garrard and progeny of Bianca and The Lips. I'm guessing from the size (just under 2000 sq ft) that Miss Jagger has had to make her own way in the world (poppa Mick is worth an estimated $350 million). But enough about all that, let's dissect the interior.

The 600 sq ft living room is, as NerF likes to say, a parking lot for furniture. No significant art to speak of and one hideous computer desk jammed into a corner. I was so hoping for a louche hippie Trustafrian paradise, not a low-rent The Selby-looking disappointment.

The master bedroom highlights include a bed with its storage drawers missing, perfectly nice grasscloth walls, and a zippy chandelier, but what's up with the dinky bedside tables holding cheap Habitat lamps?

Oh, here's the louche. Yep, that's a stripper pole with seating in the master bath. Did I mention Miss Jagger is raising two teenage daughters? And keepin' it classy.

It cracks me up that no matter how contemporary an upscale London kitchen may be, people are always parking Aga cookers in them. You know it's rarely, if ever, used because artwork rests above it. Also, that hospital green paint color has gotsta go.

The garden is crap. No ifs, ands or buts. And hello Ikea Urban chairs!

[The Real Estalker]

9 comments:

Cristin said...

I am most offended by the clear, I assume plastic, kitchen chairs...

hello gorgeous said...

Um, the master bath? That's most def klassy with a k, babe.

sherri said...

Stripper pole in the pisser...no.

sherri said...

let me qualify that further. no stripper poles. anywhere.

Raina said...

'Scuse me while I hoist myself up onto a soapbox. When did imitating a sex worker imitating sex acts become the definition if sexy?

Also, I do not understand the appeal of stripper-robics exercise classes. It should be mandatory that a group of random guys run around inappropriately groping and tucking dollar bills into those soccer moms fancy yoga pants.

The Nerdy Fashionista said...

Ariel Levy! :) Love her.

Raina said...

Her book "Female Chauvinist Pigs" is the shit.

erin@designcrisis said...

That is a truly pathetic pad. The stripper pole is trying too hard while the furnishings are just sad.

The whole thing is pretty vile.

PutzFrau said...

Stripper poles are the wet bars of the 00's.