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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Not in a million years

There have been a few projects pop up recently on other design blogs that have me shakin' my head. The first photo (sent to me by NerF) has been making the rounds for the past couple of weeks, and I wonder if the economy is to blame. Surely only the unemployed (and probably child-less) have the free time to crochet wee rock cozies.

Better Homes and Gardens, which is locked in an epic battle of batshit craftulent one-up-manship with Martha Stewart's staff, has an online slide show of 28 (!) "inspirational" ideas for dressing up your kitchen cabinet doors. Let me say this right now in case you may be confused - you should not ever turn your cabinets into a craft project. Paint them, sure. Stain them, sure. Turn them into strawberry-covered memo boards? Never in a million years.

The brilliant Karly from Design Crisis recently sent me instructions for making my own felt rocks knowing how very much they intrigue me. I could ask why would someone go to the trouble of making a rock when he or she could step outside and select one from the garden/nearby field/side of the road. But the 242 results that popped up when I typed "felt rock" into Etsy's search engine tells me that these little woolen nuggets hold some magical talismanic property I'm not aware of.

Mrs. Obvious says if you have enough spare minutes in your day to even contemplate beginning one of these projects, you should get your nutty ass down to your local Legal Aid and spend that time doing something truly worthwhile.

24 comments:

M said...

Amen!

erin@designcrisis said...

Dear gawd! I have seen the ubiquitous felt rocks, of course, but the crocheted rock cozies really take it to the next level. You know, the level that says, "I have 15 cats and watch Wheel of Fortune all day."

I can't even comment on the strawberry memo board cabinet door project. Just can't.

M said...

Hi Raina,

Oh my god I have to rant just cant controle myself.

The crochet rocks...really people get a life! especcily the woman who maked the crochet rock fish in the first picture. PLEASE go and volunteer at a homeless shelter or your local dog pound.

Kitchen cabinet doors are not craft projects.

And those felt rocks look like something my cat barft out this morning. And what would one do with a felt rock???

gracie o said...

the crocheted rocks are gorg. i'm glad they exist.

Raina said...

I'm with you, M, that little mermaid tail got me too.

I'm not really sure of the "what" or "why" of any of these projects.

Camilla @ Designalogue Blog said...

Better Homes and Gardens have a lot to answer for. Words I mumble often.

only a movie said...

Oh Raina, I heart you so.

Amen, sister.

Kate said...

Seriously Raina, where are your photo credits?
You are, like, totally slacking.

I'm off to crochet some cd cases.

karly / design-crisis.com said...

you know, i really don't have time for these projects, but luckily my kitty cat left me a big ball of hair that closely resembles project #3 this morning. Thanks, Magnus!!

karly / design-crisis.com said...

ooops, i guess someone beat me to my comment, but it actually is a true story

Designers' Brew said...

I must have missed that whole "felt rocks" gene in my Girl DNA coding. Like, these just do nothing for me. Nothing. All other signs point to two X chromosomes, but...

Cristin said...

Rock cozies??? WTF!!????

megan said...

that was awesome. thank you.

Raina said...

Hi ya Megan and welcome to this deliciousness!

lucitebox said...

When I saw the crochet rock sweaters I wondered if I was missing something.

Then, I figured maybe this is what people who get tired of painting Danish modern chairs white and then covering the seats with ubiquitous printed fabrics do. (That really bothers me, by the way, especially when the chair itself is really good to begin with. In a way, I'm glad their using their time more wisely with the rock projects.)

Raina said...

Hello Lucitebox and welcome to La Lamp Shade!

You're cracking me up. Shades of desecration (desperation?), huh?

lucitebox said...

Do you think the rocks are happy in their doily vests? We just don't know how hard it is to be a rock.
If you were a rock clothes manufacturer, you'd probably feel bad for the little guys. Maybe they are cold. It doesn't take a genius to have her "a-ha" moment: "I know! Sweaters!"

Next up, rock wetsuits.

I'm very glad to visit your lampshade. You are very funny.

houseenvy said...

The thing is Raina, following a certain recent craft-centred debate now known as Folksygate, I have had to link to your blog *again* on the Bitchingetc thread of the Living etc forum...

We are proposing to name you an honorary member and would love for you to come and say hello some time; your posts often chime with current sentiment on the forum!

Alicia B Designs said...

FINALLY someone said it! Thank you! I've been seeing them and it just shows that a lot of bloggers will just put up crap just for the heck of it. EDIT PEOPLE. I looked up those rocks for a friend as a joke (it's a joke, okay??) and seriously? 40 dollars for a set of FELT ROCKS??? Absurd. Thanks Raina, I feel so much better after seeing this.
xoxo

susieq said...

I love the massive scale seating-sized felted rocks. And only in restrained gray. Can I still be in the club?

nkp said...

Strange, strange stuff!

*TRUFAX* said...

Speaking as someone who possesses both style *and* a redudant pebble collection I somehow cannot part with, those wee rock cosies are pure craft-day-at-the-mental-hospital.

And I totes agree about felt rocks. JUST...WHY?

Someone needs to tell the kraftenvolk that it's not funny and it's not clever and nobody wants to buy their etsy carp.

Designers' Brew said...

Rains, please post the BitchingEtc cover. I went to the forum to check it out and it is beyond brilliant.

hello gorgeous said...

Well, what the hell do you think I've been doing for the last week? Eating bonbons?

So, does that mean you don't want to buy my faux rocks on etsy? They're part of my "Felt up" collection.