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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Must I point this out again

What is it about rocks that fascinates a certain segment of the crafting armies? Can they not pass a beautiful stone worn smooth by centuries of wind and water without thinking "Hey, I can most certainly improve upon what Mother Nature hath born!"? Because you just know the loons who come up with these projects have that kind of inner monologue happening.

You want to know what is truly hilarious about the gold-leafed rocks above? I mean other than the fact that someone has applied gold leaf to a rock. This craftulence requires 13 steps to complete. THIRTEEN.

Let me clear something up (again). There is a recession going on. Not any old downturn in the economy. The freakin' GREAT RECESSION. All this free time and extra cash you have to embellish the earth's crust should be put towards manning the phones at your local Legal Aid or stocking up your neighborhood food pantry. If you're painting on or crocheting little cozies for rocks, I think a little less of you as a human being.


[Apartment Therapy]

22 comments:

Kate said...

I dont get it, I'd rather knit something. Like a jumper.
Do you think less of me because we briefly had 'Kepp Calm' poster come through the studio? Admittedly it was to be defaced, to go into my husbands office and now reads "Keep Calm and fuck right off" which I think is way more appropriate.
It gets loads of comments.

Raina Cox said...

Kate - You're so brilliant. I will love you forever and ever.

ticklishfromadistance said...

Cannot stop laughing. You know how I feel.

susieq said...

I started laughing as soon as I read your title. I love it when you give us the whats-what.

amy @ switz~art said...

If I continue to read your blog, I will surely need a supply of Depends! I am nearly peeing my pants laughing!

And I have to ask...I notice that "someone's" craft site that features how to create these rocks in 13 f-ing steps is called Poopscape. Did you Google "Poopit" and find this?! Bahahaha!

Keep making me laugh, Raina....you're doin' a fine, fine job of it!

karly said...

Amy beat me to the poopscape punch.

I think the blog is appropriately named.

that's all.

Designers' Brew said...

Rains. You are so hilarious. And stop hitting on Kate--AB is going to get jealous.

Guilty confession: I kind of like the idea of using these stones as place-tags for a fancy dinner. Dark stone, gold lettering--it's pretty. Necessary, no. But I can see them working nice for a bride who's trying to pull together a decked-out wedding without too much cashola.

(Am I kicked out of the Circle of Trust now?)

Kate said...

If I'd had those stones at my first marriage, then my friends would have chucked them at me in protestation, so I can see they would be used for the greater good as well as evil. And yes, I wish I'd had painted rocks at my first wedding.

amy @ switz~art said...

I must also add, that I am not tooting my horn when I say that I can freehand that shit. My dog could.

kate salenfriend said...

now i'm just snippy. I loathe the crafting as much as you and I must add that, ahem, this is not gold. Not at 7 bucks for a pack it aint. It's imitation gold leaf as in copper colored to look like gold. Make sure you seal that little rockie after you're done, cause the golds gonna tarnish into orange.
If you actually want to do it the gold leaf way, it'll cost you fifty dollars for a pack of 20 leaves that are about 2x2".
Some crafter is not reading the fine print.

Debi said...

Spot on in your comments - as always! I will cross these off the Hanukkah gift list :)

Sol Kawage said...

While I find the crocheted cozies for stones the apex of ridiculousness, I don't dislike the stones with fake gold leaf on them. I wouldn't do it myself, but how can I say this, they are not horrid to look at. But every time I read the word craftulence on your blog I laugh and I'm happy.

Bromeliad said...

Craftulence. Did you come up with that?

Raina Cox said...

Bromeliad - I did. I needed a word to describe the overwhelming need of someone to create absolute crap and deem it "art" simply because of the process.

And welcome to this deliciousness!

erin@designcrisis said...

These remind me of summer afternoons at Mamaw's house when I was but a wee girl of five. We would pick out rocks in the alley and paint them to look like puppies and cars and rainbows.

In other words, painted rocks are not for grown ups.

mise said...

I'm crafting little rock-holders out of drinking-straws. To hold my rocks. Would that be ok? Or not?

Raina Cox said...

Mise - You're my favorite new commenter. Welcome to this deliciousness!

pillow mint said...

why would one have "poop" in their blog title?
i'm just sayin'....

lucitebox said...

You ought to add craftulence to wordnik.com

http://www.wordnik.com/about

caisse said...

art keeps us human.

only a movie said...

Hey my friend - I saw this today

http://www.regretsy.com/

and immediately thought of you.
Hysterical.

Raina Cox said...

OAM - I love love love that site and wish I'd thought of it first.