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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Zoinks for the holidays

It's the most wonderful time of the year! The time when retailers like Z Gallerie roll out their holiday wares hoping with fingers and toes crossed that this season their buyers have selected items you cannot live without. You know, like squirrels made of grass.

Have you forgotten the squirrel's place in the Nativity story? Zoinks hasn't. Never mind that squirrels have never inhabited the Holy Land, these versatile little cuties can provide your manger scene the perfect touch of eco-twee or serve as the season's most adorable kindling. I vote for the latter.

Talk about the trend that just won't die - another interpretation of a mounted dead beastie to hang on your wall. I don't know about you, but after last year's election I never want to see another moose as long as I draw breath.

From the Real Housewives of [insert preferred location] Hostess Collection. Because nothing says classy Christmas entertaining like themed stemware which mistakenly resembles a hula skirt.

The Clarity Angel's Wing is described as "a lighthearted addition to a bookshelf or tabletop." Okaaay...

...because all I can think of is this scene from "Dogma."

The amputated seraphim appendage is almost as ghoulish as these Zoinks Halloween decorations. Idi Amin is alive and well and designing for Z Gallerie.

14 comments:

Daine said...

I like that Z Gallerie at least mixes it up a little. Every other home store has the same old garland and napkin rings and santa barware. I always find something new, something that I didn't think of at Z Gallerie. Sure, not all items are for everyone but they have a lot of cool stuff! I'm dying to find out what else you dislike, I mean, have you seen the competition??? I look forward to your posts!!

sherri said...

The real housewives stemware may be the fugliest of them all. Those squirrels are hard to beat though. Happy hump day - my WV "humpi"

nkp said...

Other then uttering an audible chuckle over the last sentence, I got nothing to say. Can't improve on your witty repartee. Nope. Can't. Other then to say, Oh Zoinks!

karly said...

This is one of my top-ten all time favorite lamp shade posts. Right behind the scandinavian chicken.

fromtherightbank.com said...

I'm with Karly. Themed stemware! LMAO hard.

Camilla @ Designalogue Blog said...

Please explain what the hell people do with the squirrel things & aren't they considered vermin anyway?

Sol Kawage said...

fug stuff....
but the little skulls? I love them. A jar of miniature skulls ahah I totally love it. At least it would freak the MIL out and she'd stop coming so often :D

Yana said...

dogma= dyyying.

i do agree, i'm a girl into skull and cross bones every other month of the year except october. then they are just, clique?

House of Slappy said...

Ha! Real Housewives Hostess Colection. That's about as klassy as that ONE lonesome bottle of cheap champagne in the kitchen corner that keeps appearing on every episode.

Raina, these gems rival what they carry at Tuesday Morning.

erin@designcrisis said...

These are so particularly offensive that they only confirm my belief that holiday decorating is just wrong.

Although your holiday posts kind of give meaning to this useless crap.

pillow mint said...

.....and oh, dear. our beloved cb2 has joined in the retailer holiday spirit!
witness the fuzzy snowball:
www.cb2.com/family.aspx?c=581&f=4897

Raina Cox said...

PM - Oh, that's just dumb. Who would pay $5 for a fuzzy fake snowball?

Designers' Brew said...

I third KP & Right Bank. I'm snorting like a goat over here.

If you need more material, Crate & Barrel has some truly heinous holiday stuff, too--far more Applique Sweatshirt than their usual Tasteful Yuppie fare.

Word ver: psestsu. What the aliens from The Simpsons say when someone sneezes.

David said...

Obviously none of you grew up with the heartwarming tale of Nutcracker: The squirrel who saved Christmas.