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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

N'Aught on Your Life

You didn't think I'd let the Aughts slip by without a "Worst of," did you? I've thrown together a list of decorating trends from the past decade that made my toes curl. Dumplings, you get to vote on (I'm big on this lately) which design disaster will be crowned "N'Aught on Your Life."

Feel free to add your own winner/loser in comments. Or rip me a new one for insulting your taste. You know, whichever.

Walls decals.
Um, Sweetheart, I think your decal needs a Brazilian.
Worst offender - Blik. Blech.

The roided-up club chair.
Pottery Barn, this is your fault.
Worst offender - see above.

Neo Baroque.
Goth meets Shabby Chic. For fancy vampires everywhere.
Worst offender - Designers Guild.

Words on walls.
Decor Twitter for morons.
Worst offender - Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

Mod Pop graphics.
Somewhere David Hicks' ghost met a 1990s Prada blouse,
and things went horribly wrong.
Worst offender - Target's paper goods department.

Dead beasties.
NRA decorating subterfuge.
Worst offender - every shelter magazine on the planet.

Water features.
How does a motorized box of tubing and pebbles with a long
black dangling cord that becomes covered in brackish scale
within a matter weeks convey a sense of meditative calm?
Worst offender - Frontgate catalog or the SkyMall.
It's a toss-up.


sherri said...

I was torn between neo baroque and words on the wall, but the words won. or lost. love your post title.

Jeannine @ Small and Chic said...

Wall words drive me nutty and the decals are close behind them. Back before I blogged, I spent some time on a few message boards where people swooned over them. The same crowd liked county kitchens and clutter, so I shouldn't have been surprised to see quotes from Proverbs plastered on the wall.

I have to admit that I put my monogram on my front door a few years ago...and I like it. I live in a condo community and it's my one little personal touch in a sea of sameness. It also assures first time visitors that they have the right door. :)

I wrestle with the antler thing. Sometimes, I'll see an antler light fixture (in the right setting, mind you) and I'll like it. I just posted a few pictures from my aunt and uncle's not-quote-finished redesign and my aunt set aside a shelf for my uncle's trophies. When I visited, they pointed to one of them and laughed about the look on my face when they told me it was the set from the antelope we had just eaten for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm rambling, but at least the 4-5 they have are real and the meat was all used.

Karena said...

Raina, too funny! And so true!

nkp said...

It's far too early and I stayed up far too late last night to produce any viable words of wisdom, but that was just so damn funny! I'll leave all the cleverness to the pros (that'd be you) and just note, "decor Twitter for morons," hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha!

I think I will now officially crown you the Sedaris on insights into decorating guffaws. Whatcha think about dat?

laurelstreet said...

You've nailed it! Each one has earned it's pitiful place here. I'm glad I was able to select to vote for each one in the poll!

David said...

I hate wall words. And neo baroque isn't far behind. Although if I were a vampire, I'd want to be a fancy one.

Laura @ EdenRose said...

I'm so with you on all of those! The worst offender being the fake Baroque look, it actually hurts my eyes. I'm loving your voting posts. x

Keri Batchelder Hoffman said...

thankfully I don't have any of these in my home. I hate water features - they are smelly and harbor mold and ickyness, plus, they make me want to pee.

professor plum said...

Do expressions count? If so, can I add "feature walls" and "pop of colour"

Kate said...

Professor plum, can I add "tablescape" to that list? and Raina, are there people that actually read "Better Homes and Gardens?"

susieq said...

Okay, I've been laughing my head off here. A Brazilian for that shaggy tree? Too funny! nkp is so right -- you're our Decor Sedaris. I absolutely cannot stand water features! A friend of my went all feng shui years ago and still has these bubbly little fountains in almost every room of her house. It's like New Age Water Torture!

susieq said...

And that club chair -- looks like a cartoon super hero. I saw some beautiful reproduction French club chairs in Nashville. Very compact like the originals, but nicely proportioned. No silly 'roided-up arms.

Cristin said...

the neo baroque got my vote...

the Brazilian comment made me snort.

wool and misc said...

dead beasties 4 eva!

Kristin said...

Word on walls hands down. EEEEEK! said...

You are so clever - "N'Aught on Your Life" - I love it! For me it's definitely dead things followed by words on walls.

Alison said...

I adore the title of this post! And I'm amazed I'm not guilty of having something on this list...I have pretty questionable taste.

Raina Cox said...

Jeannine @ Small and Chic - I think I've welcomed you to La Lamp Shade, but if not, enjoy this deliciousness!

NKP - I'll take that title happily.

Professor Plum - I am SO guilty of using "pop of color."
*hangs head*

Kate - Apparently. I had a subscription ages ago because it was like $15 for 5 years. Good recipes, but the decorating tips were HORRENDOUS.

Kristin - Hello to you and welcome to this deliciousness!

lucitebox said...

I have no idea why, but when I saw "roided up" I thought of hemorrhoids, not steroids which is obviously what you meant! And now I'm kind of having a giggle fit.

This morning, I voted for the wall words. I hate them. And I think that coupled with wall decals, they were the most ubiquitous of the recent past.

Very funny post!

Raina Cox said...

Lucitebox - That chair's fugliness is easily as aggravating as hemorrhoids.

And this may be the first time anyone has typed "hemorrhoids" in the comments. Bravo!

Alicia B. Designs said...

Mine vote is for wall decals. BEYOND RIDICULOUS.

City Living Girl said...

Funny and well said. My vote goes to the wall decals and quotes for sure.

Raina Cox said...

City Living Girl - Hello and welcome to this deliciousness!

professor plum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bromeliad said...

Old people furniture rehatched as midcentury modern.

erin@designcrisis said...

I'm glad everyone agrees that making each day a masterpiece is for suckers.

Designers' Brew said...

It was a tough call, but I voted for dead beasties: all the trends got annoying, but the endless supply of breathless enthusiasm with which the beasties were received just made me want to throw myself off the nearest balcony.