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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I know why she's grinning like the Devil

Because she conned her parents into parting with a boatload of cash for this Pepto pink pseudo-Victorian mini McMansion. My daughter already has her Hanukkah wish list hammered out and this crazy-ass Fisher-Price Loving Family Grand Dollhouse tops it. Fucking commercials on Sprout.

This monster house features 8 rooms full of tiny plastic bits just waiting to break your Dyson. And if you were to pick up the box containing said dollhouse, you might be fooled into thinking all of that mess comes inside. NOPE.

There are a minimum of 10 additional playsets you'd have to buy to furnish it as shown in the photo. TEN. Let's browse them, shall we?

Family room option #1, $20.00.
It has an iPod docking station that plays music and a teensy glass
of wine tucked in the end table. Bonus points for realism.

Family room option #2, $20.00.
Shabby Chic meets Holly Hobbie.

Family room add-on set, $13.00.
Wow - that chair is... something else.

Dining room set, $10.
I didn't know The Real Housewives of New Jersey consulted on this.

Home office set, $13.
The little green chair is awfully cute, I must say.

Kitchen set, $20.
Aught-tastic millwork.

Laundry room set, $10.00.
Stylish pink wellies included. Upscale soccer moms go "Squee!"

Parents' bedroom set, $13.
What couple sleeps in a full?

Daughter's bedroom set, $10.
The Pea lost her marbles when she saw this bed.

30 smack-a-roos for four pieces of plastic.

Vessel sinks!

With the $75 starter house and 10 sets of furnishings, you are looking at $227. A minivan, additional family members, gardening pieces, horses, and a camping set are also available.

Did I mention The Pea is bonkers for this thing?

47 comments:

Sally J said...

I have to go with Hannah on this one! I would have killed to have this as a kid. Instead I made multi-layered dollhouses out of cardboard and shoeboxes. Even made my own furniture. Hmmm....maybe you just need to get her a bunch of shoe boxes and tell her to become a REAL designer!!!

Kate said...

And so the Pea starts her rebellion.....

erin@designcrisis said...

What is the male equivalent of this travesty? Because I'm sure I'll be ponying up for it in a couple of years.

Honestly, though, I would have lost my shit if my mom had bought this for me at the Pea's age.

ps: I'm sure the Pea is her mother's daughter. She could at least reupholster those crib skirts...

only a movie said...

You have my condolences.

whitecabana said...

OMG - you make me laugh so much! How about getting the Pea a cardboard box, some fabric, and a glue gun and helping her decorate her own mansion. You can make it bigger, better and more stylish than this plastic number. Good luck!
-Jordana
p.s. You could always throw your tv away - the Pea would have no idea what pink delights await her at the toy store!

sarah, flourish design + style said...

See you in the checkout :)

Three Owls said...

it's quite possible that the 'Grand' stands for how much they will eventually milk out of ya...

sadly, I would've wanted this too...

ps. feeling smug for having commercial free children... of course now that the older one goes to school it's all going to coming crashing in on me... sigh.

Elisa @ What the Vita said...

From the comments here, I am reminded of Friends' Phoebe's cardboard dollhouse and how much cooler and fun it was than Monica's fancy dollhouse... until it caught fire from all the christmas lights.

But I can't imagine just giving your Pea a cardboard box after she is already so excited about this one. Maybe show her the tv show and she'll be excited about a cardboard box instead? :)

Tara Dillard said...

WTF !

Who knew INFERTILITY would age so well?

Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

A Perfect Gray said...

lordy, I love ya. thanks for making me laugh so hard with this one.

good luck...

Jane said...

I have a real soft spot for dollshouses hence my daughter has two - one I made for her from a kit and a wooden one with Zoffany wallpaper and chunky wooden furniture. I know only too well how much children like pink plastic. BUT I think you can do better for that money check this out: http://www.pmwarchitects.com/kaleido.htm ( you can buy these on ebay I think for about $100) lots of bright colours or also look at this:

http://www.thisnext.com/list/22858EE9/Modern-Dollhouses

Anne (in Reno) said...

When I was little we had the paint-them-yourself kind (I assume my dad did the actual building). Then we got to buy tiny furniture, but it was all wood and fabric and in retrospect, pretty awesome. You might be able to get one at a hobby shop and it would be way more fun to decorate it together...

sherri said...

vessel sinks? was that a pink laptop i spied? aught-tastic millwork killed me. i so wanted a dollhouse when i was a kid. i had the barbie dream townhouse, which was cool, but a rickety piece of cardboard and plastic columns. w. would love this house actually.

Alcira Molina-Ali said...

Ha! Sprout be damned alright!
But still, the Pea clearly digs this and you may be able to get away with this being her "main" gift...additional furnishings and accessories wrapped seperately.
On the bright side, maybe if you get if for her and don't make a big deal out of it, she'll soon tire and ask to start collecting miniature Saarinen chairs.
Now that, my friend, will cost you ; )
Alcira

Bri@Meyouandawiener said...

I'm glad I have a boy he's happy with, wait he loves his wii which means more video games never mind I take back my comment.

Rebecca Grace said...

Oh, Dear. Well, on the bright side, this doll house that comes with nothing is educational. Isn't how that works in real life? How many clients have bought more house than they can afford, then looked at their designer and said, "That's how much it costs just to do one room? But I have SO MANY!!!" But maybe an empty dollhouse and a lecture about the Not-So-Big House movement doesn't make for the best holiday memories. I feel your pain. :-)

Mrs Woog said...

Is there a gimp room add on with ceiling swing and whipping rack?

Sketch42 said...

Did you see my post on sunday about the FOA Shwarz dollhouses? those things are a $1000 dollar investment!

sweetbittertart said...

Could that be a Wolf range (mounted by an appliqued cupbaord)?

Rebecca (Reluctant Floridian) said...

Raina! I have nothing but fond memories of all my house-related toys (Barbie Dream Casa back when it was a yellow A-frame, various Fisher Price domiciles, a wooden dollhouse my mom painted), especially since my sister and I would combine all houses and toys into a large-scale development where Barbies and Little People could live side by side.

I am particularly fond of the old Fisher Price A-frame. Unfortunately my sister has been sending me links of those selling on ebay for $100. WTF.

David said...

I do like the family room add-on set's end table, and I love that there's a mama dog and some puppies. That's all I got.

my favorite and my best said...

i feel your pain girl. fiona has a smaller version of that shit. i am trying to figure out how i am going to fit the zhu zhu pet play set in this damn house.
if i had a dime for every time i bought some giant piece of plastic that got played with twice i could buy a mouille floor lamp.
case in point fiona begged us for a train set last year..we bought it for her and 2 weeks after she got it she was acting out and i told her i would take her new train set away for good. she didn't listen so i took it away and she forgot about it after 2 days.

Appletree said...

My daughter was given a completely furnished dollhouse from her cousin who had outgrown it at 10 yrs old. It was the Ryan's Room version which is wooden not plastic and not colorful enough for her tastes. I play with it more than she does. I like to rearrange the furniture. Go figure.

susieq said...

I played with dollhouses my entire childhood -- and those are some of my best memories. I say with The Pea's gene pool, she's probably a designer-in-making. So, just think of this as an educational investment and bite the bullet. But wait -- LB has mad skills. Maybe he could whip up a more tasteful wee house and some furnishings based on your own design?

Karena said...

I dreamed about a dollhouse like thisas a child, alas the eldest of eight siblings, it was impossible!!

Have you tried Craigslist? I have a feeling you will pony up for your darling!

The Zhush said...

You are so buying this, of course you are...grinning while I type! At your daughter's age, that pink canopy bed would have had me too! But what is above the stove in the "aught-tastic" kitchen? A pink African ju-ju hat? Seriously...what is that, and why is it there?!!

Mandi Smith T said...

Laughing, but painfully! I know how you feel. We went through this a couple of years ago and now the whole shabang will (maybe) receive a glance from the once gaga admirer.

nkp said...

Yeah right, like you are going to disappoint that shayna punim. I think this battle was lost before it ever began. :0)

Topaz said...

Something tells me we are alike in our abhorrence of the word "SQUEE!" which I used to think was used ironically but now realize it's not. Bonus UGH points if the the user adds, "You owe me a new keyboard!"

Jessica said...

Man, did I need a good laugh this morning...Thanks Raina! (btw - would've definitely topped my list when I was the Pea's age!)

christine {bijouandboheme} said...

Laughing out loud!!! Sometimes we have no choice but to indulge and bring yet another one of these pinkarific plastic beasts into our homes. I do like the dollhouses more than most though- something sweet about giving your daugther a dollhouse- seems like a passing of the torch kind of thing.

Bromeliad said...

She didn't want the Dwell dollhouse? (j/k).

Dear Pea - Go for Barbie instead. You get the furnishing AND clothes.

MyLittleHappyPlace said...

Oh my. Good luck w/ that one. We bought Avery a dollhouse last year - some random brand at Target, and it was on sale. To her credit, she DOES play with it, but I almost can't live with myself for suggesting such a hideous space-taker.
Oh, and Ben pissed his pants when it took him over an hour to assemble - and he's handy!

ktgirl said...

wait, I have to wipe my tears from laughing so hard...OK, now, I bought this for my daughter and only purchased four of the furniture sets. It's more than enough furniture. In fact, half the pieces sit in a basket most of the time. And the best part: She plays with it endlessly and keeps her away from the idiot box (TV). That said, I'd love a "mid-century modern" version. Good luck!

Acanthus and Acorn said...

I say buy it! My daughter had a smaller version from Target and played with it quite a bit, as did other little girls who came over.

I wouldn't however invest in each rooms furniture set, especially all at once. Buy the kitchen, the office (the coolest set) and the little girl's bedroom because the pea loves the bed. Then see how it goes and hold the rest back for a birthday or a gift maybe the relatives can spring for.

Oh, and then when she's older she can invite GI Joe over and he can hang out on one of "those" rugs! j/k

Teri said...

There are some nice wood ones out there, some price point or more- but at least not pink and plastic!

Sol Kawage said...

two things: A girl I used to babysit said to me once (no shit): I don't have plastic toys, they're tacky.

Her mom brainwashed her from day one to get that result, I reckon.

Second, we are a married couple who sleeps in a full. We're crazy, but it stays.

Naomi@ThirteenandSouth said...

In my day it was the Playmobil Victorian mansion. Which, might I add, was MUCH nicer than this piece of shit. I asked for it every year to no avail. Then when I was like 19 my mom got it. WTF mom, too late.

damn I think my mom just gave it away, otherwise I'd ship it to you.

Juliab said...

It's character building stuff to not get what you really want. Does that help? Thought not.

Raina Cox said...

Jane - Those two links are NUTS. I encourage each and every Dumpling to check them out. Those are dollhouses I want.

Rebecca Grace - Hello and welcome to this deliciousness!

Mrs Woog - I like the way your mind works. But you knew that already.

Sketch42 - $1000?!? BANANAS.

sweetbittertart - I'm going with "Probably."

Rebecca - The Fisher-Price A-frame! Oh man, that takes me back. I had the Barbie Townhouse - three floors of cardboard splendor with a yellow plastic elevator.

The Zhush - It's a wreath hanging over the stove. Awful, huh?

ktgirl - Hello and welcome to this deliciousness! And thanks for the product review.

Sol Kawage - You and your Hubz must be in love. ;)

Naomi - Oh, I remember the Playmobile Victorian house. We never had any of that. We were a Barbie and Lego family.

Sharon @ Real Estate Resuscitation said...

Oh my gosh - Logan is wanting the same dollhouse!!!!

The Down East Dilettante said...

*Gasp*. I'm going into the dollhouse business. Have I got a deal for you....

Jessica said...

well I get why she likes it and it it uhhhhgly so check this out on etsy:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/wilshepherd/search?search_query=doll+house&search_type=user_shop_ttt_id_5725730&shopname=wilshepherd

Raina Cox said...

Jessica - Those are gorgeous! Thanks for the link.

Jessica said...

here's a couple more: http://minimodern.blogspot.com/

http://www.shelterpop.com/2009/08/07/welcome-to-the-modern-dollhouse/

http://ifitshipitshere.blogspot.com/2010/02/mid-century-modern-miniature-emerson.html

Raina Cox said...

Jessica - Are you in cahoots with my credit cards?

Ms Betsy xo said...

Oh I so wish I was local and read this when you posted it. I have 2 of these that I'd love to give to a good home and I have all the furniture. AND I paid twice the price because when I bought them you couldn't get them in Sydney Australia so I had it sent in from USA... now the girls are older and the houses don't get used but they are in pristine condition. I think I wanted it for the girls more than they did.... fond memories, but I don't have the heart to sell or get rid of them, but I'd happily donate.