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Thursday, November 18, 2010

White people problems - teacup edition

*leans back in chair and rests boots on the table*

Dumplings, it's been quite a while since we've had a White People Problem a-here at the Lamp Shade Ranch. Close as I can reckin', the last WPP involved a potato, a lamp, and a mess-a ugly. Today's is just plain ole fashioned dumb. The kinda dumb that makes you think the person askin' the question is a sandwich short of a picnic, a bulb shy of a chandie-lier, or a donkey less than a Charlie Sheen weekend.

Today, Emma (uh huh) asks Apartment Therapy's pundit-ray to weigh in on a particularly worrisome digh-lemma:

At our wedding reception, we filled teacups with roses and moss, which brought a beautiful, gardeny feel to our party. Now I've got about 20 teacups and saucers sitting in boxes, which is a shame because they really are beautiful and have sentimental value (some I bought; but many were given to me at my bridal shower). Can your readers think of any ways to display them that isn't too old-lady-ish and doesn't require a china cabinet?

My favo-right reply so far? "You could use them to drink tea from." Cassis, you belong over here at the ranch. The vittles are tasty, the cowpokes are a heap-a handsome, and the sass flows like the mighty Coloradah River.

31 comments:

Appletree said...

that is a perplexing digh-lemma, how does she sleep at night. thank goodness for AT.

David said...

Yay! I love White People Problems!

Someone just needs to tell her (I don't have an ID to comment at AT so I can't) that there is no modern way to display teacups. They are the anti-modern. Learn to love your inner old lady or box them up for Goodwill.

sanctuaryhome said...

This crap is why I almost never even visit Apartment Therapy, I more often than not leave after getting pissed. It annoys me that they have success from creating such a crappy product.

Anne (in Reno) said...

I like the response after that: "Invite your friends over and use the cups to drink gin". Unusually practical for AT.

But seriously, yeesh.

Modern Country Lady said...

Hahahaha - OMG - yeah she's got a reeeaal problem, oh my!
Keep 'm boxed up for your next wedding I suggest as you are sure gonna lose your guy 'cause you're boring as hell hahahahaha

Bri@Meyouandawiener said...

ahahahahahhaha Lmao!

DaniBP said...

Haha!!
I'm saving me own teacups and saucers for my dotage, when I'm planning to drink brandy from them with mah ole lady friends.
Love your blog, I never comment but I should.

Alcira Molina-Ali said...

Guffaw, snort, harrumph....
WPP problems indeed.
Sort of reminds me of the stacks of bits 'n pieced together china I never used but spent hours readjusting on a hidden-away shelf post-paint job, all the while cursing American excess not-so-under my breath.
Why on earth do we collect and hold onto these things, pray tell?
Alcira

thenerochronicles.blogspot.com

my favorite and my best said...

laughing my vagina off. (ass is so yesterday)

david wins for best and most logical answer.
embrace your teacups and have a motherfucking tea party.

nkp said...

I love it that your embracing your inner Southern.

I can't deal with this kind of shit. I don't read AT for this very reason. Who has this kind of time on their hands?

nkp said...

Oops, "you're!" Grammar first. ;0)

tulpen said...

I was a goner at "A donkey less than a Charlie Sheen weekend"

Bahahahahaha!!!!!

susieq said...

Oh I love your offering of tasty vittles, handsome cowpokes, and flowing sass. Teacups? Geez.

Teri said...

Really? If this is your greatest problem, man you have an easy life.

I would smash them with a hammer and use the pieces as a backsplash in the kitchen. Seriously- get a life and a real problem.

autrichenoire said...

Seriously? teacups? hahaha! Wait I have an idea.....make a teacup lamp and top off with a potato decorared shade!(goes back to chewing 'tabaca' and whittling)

Reggie Darling said...

This is hilarious. Best advice is certainly "use them to drink tea" second best is "give them away" (to anyone, please), third is "smash the damn things" and move on with your life. Or finally, send them back to the Franklin Mint, which probably sold the junk in the first place as "value-appreciating investment collectibles."

The Down East Dilettante said...

Okay, aside from the fact that you're particularly funny in this one...

....teacups. ewwww. I hate even having them in the store, and always hide them when I display dinner services---precisely because they do look so fussy and granny.

Now demitasse cups. that's another matter...they're downright manly compared to teacups.

C.J. said...

sheesh! tough crowd.

Raina Cox said...

DaniBP - Hello and welcome to this deliciousness!

Topaz said...

Pull a Julian Schnabel and make priceless art from them. Of course, he used dinner plates for his full-sized installations, so you'd probably have to limit yourself to sofa-sized works with your teacup collection.

Get cracking!

ktgirl said...

you're all sillies. You forgot the obvious DIY solution: Smash the cups into pieces and make a mosaic table!

erin@designcrisis said...

Display as retro dust catchers in the attic. Problem solved.

Rebecca (Reluctant Floridian) said...

The people who write these questions, how do they figure out how to wipe their asses? Thank you for reading AT so I don't have to.

Alex Fulton Design said...

Love it when you talk all "Merican.

Vickie H. said...

I cannot stop laughing. And I am kinda ashamed of myself for enjoying the brutality. I'm just sayin'.....

Paul Anater said...

How the HELL did I miss this one? Oh that's right, I can't stomach AT. But I have no excuse for letting my Reader pile up and missing your post on the idiocy over there. Do you go over there often? If so, thanks for reporting back and saving me from the fits. I have to sit next to one of their editors at an event in Toronto in January. Ewwww.

Raina Cox said...

Paul - I have AT in my reader and actually love it when one of these "problems" rears its ridiculous head. Great WPP fodder!

I'll be interested to hear what you think of the editor. I'm curious if the folks who work there drink the Kool-Aid or are self-aware.

Kristen said...

The thing that drives me nuts about this WPP is that it's totally antithetical to anything that has to do with good taste, good style, etc. Basically, the question is "I bought all these crappy things for a specific purpose. I didn't need them and I probably wouldn't have even liked them prior to buying them. I've managed to convince myself that they are both pretty and meaningful. Now I've developed an unhealthy attachment to them because I forever associate them with the specific purpose for which I bought them (viz. my wedding). I simply can't get rid of them and I have to create a way to display them so that I can be reminded of my special day forever." Obviously, if you don't keep all the shit you put on the tables during your special, special wedding day, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO REMEMBER IT HAPPENED.

This isn't a design question; it's an emotional question-- and it kind of runs counter to the whole AT ethos, for whatever that's worth. I mean, I think what "Emma" (if that is indeed her real name) is asking for is validation that it's okay to keep all these shitty cups or permission to throw them out. Emma, you have our full permission! Throw them out, girl!

Raina Cox said...

Kristen - Gold Star Comment of the Day!

Kristen said...

Aw, thanks! FWIW, it sounds like a really ugly wedding. Roses and moss in teacups? Give me a break!

xo

MollyMarler said...

DAMN! I love your writing. It kills me. I'm about to hop on the Black Friday Crazy Train, and this is just the kind of eye candy/verbal kick in the pants I need to arm myself against the crazies that are sure to abound in the hellish mall that I am ridiculous enough to attempt. Deep breaths...and thank you!