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Friday, August 31, 2012

The problem with decorators these days

So, you're a titan of industry and you're trying to sell your 8,000-square-foot apartment. But it's not just any apartment, at least in your estimation, because you're planning to list it for one of the highest prices ever New York City real estate history.

You're going to do whatever it takes to make this property a stand-out and worthy of the bonkers price you're asking. Hey, remember that design meeting you had with Juan Pablo Molyneux, decorator to the 1% of the 1%? You had him draw up some plans and make a few initial furniture selections. And then, because you're a titan of industry and have a pants-ful of money to swing around, you think you know better.

Instead of purchasing the "17th century chestnut wood from France for the Versailles-like flooring in the living and dining rooms" as specified, you're going to use "wood from a barn in Kentucky that [you] had torn down." You're going to install a multi-level hexagonal staggered tray ceiling with LED cove lighting in the dining room for "effect," even though none of it was ever specified by the designer.

And then when Molyneux hears of and sees what you're attaching his name to and gets upset, you scratch your receding hairline and wonder what all the fuss is about.

Because why wouldn't a man who created these spaces...






... want to lend his name to this?:



Photos: 1-5, via Molyneux Studio; 6-9, Evan Joseph for The New York Times.

Molyneux Studio [official site]

15 comments:

The Down East Dilettante said...

*tee hee*

Nataliya said...

ha ha :)

Petra Voegtle said...

Holy crap!!!!!!!

Keri said...

that place looks like a 1980's yacht or cruise ship - eep!

Modern Country Lady said...

Yep , just call me Ari Onassis... bleegh :-)

Lorena said...

The ceilings are so low, why? Most of the furniture looks so...Costco.

wellfedfred said...

I actually did see the interior of the yacht Christina during her very brief career as a private cruise vessel. "Tasteful" compared to this.

Juliab said...

Yikes. Wouldn't spend five minutes in that place without sniggering.

Raina Cox said...

Lorena - I'm guessing it's in a post-war highrise.

wellfedfred - Did it still have the bar stools upholstered in whale foreskin?

Hollywood forever, Kevin said...

It does look like a 80's cruise ship. Love the entrance hall, though, I guess it's the homo in me. K

Jessie said...

I just read the article. Steven Klar might have bad taste (okay, he did have bad taste) but you have to admit that he's a marketing genius! I mean who else ever thought of listing a gaudy apartment for $100 million to create an international buzz?

Jessie
www.mixandchic.com

Tara Dillard said...

Saw a past client at a wedding reception.

They went on-on-on about their landscape. When I said I didn't remember putting x-y-z in as they described. Long pause, they thought I was a stupid bimbo with no memory. Shocked when I described what I DID design for them YEARS ago.

Casually asked how they liked their garden. Not at all, they said. Should have done what I had drawn. Most of it was dying.

La-ti-da

Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

maison21 said...

oy.

Sharon Brown said...

Definitely agree with the posters above on the cruise ship look. That dining room - wow.

Suzanne said...

Roman bust rising out of the potted plant in the foyer match the faux roman columns. As maison21 said, "Oy!"

The window treatments are positively horrid. They all have dingle balls hanging off them.