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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

27 new shows to hit HGTV and DIY

A scene from the new series "Vanilla Ice Goes Amish."
(That is not the punch line to a decorating joke.)

Twenty-seven new series are coming to HGTV and the DIY Network over the next year. 27. Two seven

They include "Vanilla Ice Goes Amish" (see cringe-inducing photo above); a competition show with the two mouthbreathers from "Property Brothers"; "The Rev. Run Project" starring the holy man of the 1980s rap group Run DMC; Darryl Hall of the 1980s soft pop duo Hall & Oates renovating a 1700s Connecticut farmhouse; and a new show from 1980s TV star Bronson Pinchot sure to feature him touring Greece and Rome while stealing Classical statuary under the cover of darkness. I sense advertisers are aiming at Gen X-ers.

"Additional new series include 'Renovation Unscripted', featuring Emmy-award winning actress Heather Tom from 'The Bold and the Beautiful' and 'The Young and the Restless', 'Flip or Flop', 'Catastrophe Inc.', 'Renovate to Rent' and 'Staged to Perfection'." Wow! They all sound so unique and original!

"Renovation Raiders" will surprise homeowners returning from a dinner out with a room made over in four hours. And the old geezer "Design Star" will be retooled and retitled "HGTV Star." Rest assured the illustrious panel of judges featuring people nobody has ever heard of outside the design blogosphere will remain with the addition of Target shill Sabina Soto. Slow-witted but pretty host David Bromstad will stay on as host. I know you are relieved.

HGTV, DIY add shows [The Denver Post]

17 comments:

Tara Dillard said...

After a decade of flower shows hiring their main speakers from the HGTV roster.....

Ta-Da flower shows are dying.

I'm brain dead, help me. Why do large audiences turn up to learn gardening from a TV host who knows nothing, hosts experts who know questionable amounts (hey-but-they-are-free), and homeowners who obviously don't care about their gardens.

Repeat the cycle for decade + .

From the TV vantage, why do they do this? Limits sponsors for the garden realm.

Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

eddielicious said...

I grew up in Hawaii, the HGTV show that makes me ill isthe one called "Hawaii House Hunters" or whatever. Where people buy their dream home in paradise.....The South Park episode spoofing new residents, who call themselves native "Ha-vai-ans" because they got their mahalo rewards card, worship the King (elvis) and drink chi chi's NAILED IT. I feel a contest is in order, who can come up with the dumbest design show title and subject matter. winner gets a Restoration Hardware gift card.

Kristen said...

why? so dumb.

Elizabeth @ The Little Black Door said...

There's a train wreak in their future.

My Interior Life said...

No matter what new shows pop up on HGTV, all that's ever on when I click over is House Hunters or some variation thereof. Although Property Brothers runs a close second. Oi.

David said...

Tell me you're making up Vanilla Ice Goes Amish.

Also, who the hell is in charge at HGTV? Is there not one smart, new, interesting idea to be found?

Bethany [at] Powell Brower Home said...

Ok, WTF. The President at JCPenney gets fired for becoming more youthful and actually doing GOOD to revamp their image, but whomever thought of these REEJECT ideas is still at the helm at these networks? WEIRD.

And btw- I will tune in to see Balki Bartokomous and maybe Darryl Hall. Because I loved them. But if they arent good, I'll be ridiculing.

Kimberly Lemmon said...

I'll give any of these a go if it means taking a break from Love it or List it - with 2 of the most difficult to like "stars" in HGTV history. Those "reality" renovation shows are such a joke too. Count on an "unforseen" disaster close to deadline time. Please.

gmjl said...

Well the good news is that 6ft tall Scandinavian chicken does not have a show...but too bad that David Bromstad is still around creating fugly paintings.

Rose said...

Agree with Kimberly.

Love It or List It drives me nuts. I do enjoy the Property Brothers a bit, though.

asheadesignlab.com said...

I just read this aloud to my husband and he insisted that I double-check the date on the post and make sure it wasn't from April 1st.

I must admit, I may have to DVR that Rev. Run one, though.

Debra Phillips said...

when will the celebrity worship end? where are the 'real designers', the professionals?

my friend meg caswell, won the last design star and is riding the crest of fame, and good for her. she is your every woman, size 14, down to earth, hair frizzes......not a model but someone we can all relate to, and a designer by trade
.

Interior Design Musings said...

OK, first! "mouth breathers" - hilarious (and true). Next, if what you are saying is really true (because, I agree, it's sounds completely outlandish), it seems as though HGTV has decided to make a TOTAL mockery of the entire interior design industry. Granted they were skirting a fine line before, but WOW. It sounds like they have jumped jumped the shark! M.

Alicia B. Designs said...

When i read this the first time, I thought it was a satire. Sadly, it's all too real. HGTV is a good look into the world of fake designers and thats pretty much it.

xoxo

A said...

Nice, nice, Baby!

Heather Tom might actually bring some grace and style (she's Bold and Beautiful).

Has anyone seen a David B. orig. on EBay yet?

Sarah said...

I hate you HGTV. I've hated you since you inflicted "Donna Decorates Dallas" on us.

So much potential to educate and raise the taste level of people who otherwise aren't necessarily exposed to real design and quality design.....you've just squandered it.



SHERRY HART said...

Is this a joke? Certainly you were smoking some breakfast crack......or maybe the folks at HGTV!