So, Dumplings, why don't we all pledge to making decorating better and put a halt to overdone design trends? If we hold hands and invoke Paul Lynde's powder room, we can change the world.
Let's start with five design trends that have shown tremendous staying power. Three are decorating classics, resplendent in their resurgence but have, nonetheless, overstayed their welcome. One is a modern play on a century-old design. And one makes me believe the future Idiocracy predicted is much closer than we think.
1. Beni Ourain and Boucherouite rugs
He's emptied out an Atlas mountain village
and promised them goods from the distant land of Karastan.
I'm pretty sure the people of Morocco have exported every last Beni and Bouche from their country and are now bringing in wall-to-wall from Shaw Carpet Mills. West Elm has one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine versions of these rugs. The saturation point has been reached.
2. Chesterfield leather sofas
See, you can't give Americans anything nice.
It's tufted! It's British!! It's leathuh!!! Actually, anything that's become the international symbol for Restoration Hardware should be permanently banned from the annals of decorating. Because...
"Restoration Hardware - We furnish New Jersey."
3. Hicks pendants
"Happy Birthday! We got you balls!!"
Thomas O'Brien could run his Aero Studio at a loss for the next several decades from what he's made on his warp-speed iconic Hicks pendant. Contrary to popular opinion, this is not a versatile light fixture. It looks good only in kitchens designed by Steven Gambrel, fitted with Smallbone cabinets and handcrafted subway tile the thickness of a baby's arm. Only only only and no place else. Plus, they look like testicles.
4. Words on walls
"NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo" and you can quote me on that.
Thank the Decorating Gods (fyi - they're names are Dagny, Sylvia and Frank) vinyl decals of phrases, quips and musings have all but disappeared from the modern decorating lexicon. But they have been replaced by the insipid framed quote. Dumplings, I know you can think for yourselves and whatever point you have to make is 800 times deeper than the center quote above.
5. Serge Mouille lighting
Needs a Serge protector.
Classic, brilliant, and done-to-death because the $345 knock-off is almost impossible to distinguish from the $7610 original. And if you're spending nearly $8K on a flimsy floor lamp not built by Jesus Christ himself, you should be slapped.